or Despite the New Doctor Being Truely Awesome Josh is About to Cry, plus God is listening.
Firstly, the new doctor is awesome. Well, the Registered Nurse slash Certified MidWife is awesome. The staff is awesome. The doctor.... I don't know. See, I'm not having any sort of complication and I'm err Baby is developing well so there really isn't anything for the doctor to see. The RN Midwife is a member of the Church Josh works at. We are not members. I haven't gone since like Christmas, and yet she recognized me almost immediately. My first trip in to see her with my mom was fantastic. She had me laughing, she sat down, listened to all my stupid First Timer Questions, gave me wonderful understandable answers and just made me LAUGH. It was so important. And just like my first impression at the Church, I was made to feel at home, like they had been my doctor for years and just hadn't seen me in a while. Fears answered with Gift, number One.
This weekend, we had planned (PLANNED) to go to Combined Realms War Ten (CRWX) in Burnett County. I had even warned the family in Austin that I might be in the area. Well, last week... or is it the week before now... I started vomitting blood. I refuse to go into the details of said excretion as the memory makes me want to wretch, but needless to say it was a scary ordeal to say the least. RN Midwife saw to me (her name is Cris, BTW) and simply wanted me to stop throwing up. I could handle that, so I was put on much rest and No-Throw-Pull pills. YES! Finally! A wonder drug for morning sickness. I was in heaven! Things were getting better until last Tuesday, when we got hit with round one of the medical bills, and the $300 we had saved up for CRWX got redelegated to Baby Bills. SUCK!! I was livid, sad, and dejected. I told the guys to give-'em-hell and stayed home to do housework with the vacation I had already taken and now had to use. This Tuesday, I had forgotten to eat. i was just being so lazy that it didn't cross my mind. So when Josh got me dinner, I threw up before I ate. No blood, but still. On Wednesday, I started bleeding.
Let me start by saying I never liked being on my period, but bleeding while knowing there's a little life inside is FUCKING SCARY AS SHIT! But, Ceci had said it can happen, and if it does lay down immediately. So, I did. At 8am, I laid down on the sofa, Fuzzbutt curled up by my tummy, and on went the History Channel. At 10am, I ate breakfast (which Fuzzbutt wanted and i offered the apple), and laid back down. I think I fell asleep cuz went I had to pee next, it was 1pm. I went pee and the blood hadn't stopped. It was worse. Dark, rusty colored, but thicker than I had ever seen it these past three months. Panic time, number... what number am I on? So, I call Josh.
"Hi, Gorgeous! How are you?"
Not so good. Look, I don't want to scare or worry you at all, but I woke up bleeding. I laid down, like I was told, and I just checked. It's not getting any lighter.
-quietly- "Call the Doctor, then call me right back."
Yes, sir. -minor panic attack trying to remember where I had the number until I realize I had it on my phone-
"Renaissance Women's Health?"
Yes, I was hoping either Dr. Montalvo or Nurse Riersen were available for me to speak with right now? My name is Claudia Carranza, and I'm a patient.
"Certainly. May i ask what the concern is first?"
I'm three months pregnant and woke up with more than heavy spotting this morning. I laid done and rested, but it's not getting any lighter. I'm worried because I'm feeling menstrual-like cramps with it that is very steady and not letting up.
"Okay. Let me get you a nurse. Please hold a moment."
-lalalala, at least their hold music doesn't Totally Suck Ass-
"Claudia, this is Nurse Bernie. Can you describe to me exactly what your are feeling and seeing?"
-I reexaplain, and add the rusty color. At this point, I'm starting to break down and shake. It's a fight to keep my voice something close to level, but if something is wrong then strong emotions might make it worse. My mantra was In through the Nose, Out through the Mouth.-
"Let me check with Cris real fast for you, but stay laying down, okay?"
Ok.
"Okay, I'll be right back."
-more hold music-
"Claudia, thanks for holding. Can you come in? It may be nothing, since the blood isn't bright red, but dark and rusty, but we'd really like to be sure."
Sure. I don't know if I have the good car or not. Do you want me to drive myself, or have my husband drive me to reduce my stress?
"Please have him drive you if you can. Don't rush. It's more important that you get here safely than quickly. I'll let the front desk know you're on your way and we'll be waiting for you."
Okay, thanks. I'll see you soon.
-call Josh-
Can you take me to the doctor? They'd like to check me over to be safe.
"Get dressed. I'll be right there."
Okay, getting dressed while period cramping is never fun. Getting dressed while feeling period cramps and knowing there's a little one is NOT FUN IN THE SLIGHTEST. Every move at me nervous. Five minutes later, Josh walks in with that 'I'm so worried and nervous if any one gets in my way they'll see the sharp end of my sword' look on his face. I'm about to say, 'Please don't worry.' but really, who would I be kidding? I'm scared as hell and fighting to hold it together and not break down. That would be the last thing Josh needed, to be completely worried about Baby (or as Arlene calls Baby from Week 5 sonogram: Turtle-O) and I, and then have me a blubbering wreck. We get in the car and he starts to zoom to the doctor's office.
Dad, if you're reading this, Mom told me she used to not tell you anything about the pregnancies because with Ceci you'd panic with every little thing. She said she was more scared with your driving to the hospital at the start of her contractions than she was at pretty much any other time.
Josh was driving a bit like that. It was quick stops, hard accelerations, and top speed with cruise control so he wouldn't go over the speed limit and truely that was the only thing that kept him from lead-footing-it all the way there. It wasn't comfortable, but after seeing his eyes when he walked into the house, I wasn't going to tell him I was getting scared at his driving. He's a fantastic driver, and is just trying to get me there fast cause he's just as scared as I am.
We arrive like 10 minutes later, and get into the waiting room. I'm still writing my name when I'm called in. Whoa! O.O
I get into the bloodpressure slash weigh the whale slash pee in the cup area and the nurse asks Josh to wait outside a moment. Wha? And there's Cris.
"Claudia! You're here? I thought Bernie was still on the phone with you?"
No, she asked me to come in straight away, just to be safe.
"Oh, okay?" -glance at Bernie-
B: I checked with Jessica.
Cris: Ok. Well, get her weight, bloodpressure, and a urine sample.
My husband's outside. Can he please come in now? He's really scared.
B:Of course. -opens door- Mr. Carranza?
His last name is Kaufman.
B: Huh? (Type 'help' for help.)
Happens all the time. I haven't changed my name.
B: Oh.
J: What's going on?
We got here too fast. Can he wait in a patient room for me to get this stuff done.
B: Sure. Here's your pee-cup. Mr. Kaufman, this way.
-I get my weight (208, down from 217 at my very first visit, and oddly enough I feel fatter not lighter) give my blood pressure and reexplain everything. When I pee, the blood is much less. Okay....? I get out and they start to lead me the other way from where I saw Josh go.-
But my husband is...
B: Oh! Over here!
AH! Hi Josh.
B: We're going to check everything down there, so can you please get undressed from the waist down please?
-Here's my pink paper blanket. I think Sloan Medical makes this... Anyway, I undress, and Josh is too nervous to make a 'reow' comment. Up on the table-bed and wait. Try chatting with Josh but we're both too nervous.-
I keep wanting to tell you not to worry, Babe, but it's stupid. I'm scared shitless.
-Josh nods. Great, silent treatment. He's freaking out on the inside. Cris walks in.-
"Okay, let me hear it."
-Reexplain.-
"Have you two had intercourse recently?"
We tried last night, but it wasn't going to happen, before that... a day or two, then a week or more, really. It's been touch and go. This morning, he kissed me good bye for the morning and it felt good. I took care of myself when he left, and maybe I tensed too much? I fell asleep for an hour, and when I woke up I was bleeding. I thought that maybe that was the reason, and my sister had told me the last time I spotted, which was weeks and weeks ago and really light by comparision, to just lay down and it should go away. It hasn't, and the pains are worse, not unbearable but worse, so that's why I called. It's been hours.
"Okay. Well, first of, let me start by saying that a really don't think this is anything. The blood you described was dark, rusty colored. That means it's old. This is not a fresh bleed. But any blood when you're pregnant is really really scary. You did absolutely the right thing. You rested, and when it didn't seem to get better you called in. Your last sonogram showed you had 11 weeks and everything was developing the way it should. We had a very strong heartbeat. The chances that this, whatever it is, is a sign of a miscarriage is very very low. Your pregnancy looks very strong. That's not to say the chances are zero, so we're going to check everything to make sure, but I'm not terribly worried that this is amiscarriage. Often, with all the hormones, the walls of the vahjayjay (Okay, editor's note here, she didn't ACTUALLY say vahjayjay, it just sounds funnier that way!) and the cervix get irritated and if you try to have some fun, a small tear could happen and produce blood. The urine test was to check if the blood was related to a bladder infection, which it's not. Your urine is very clear-"
Well, thank you. I drink as much water as I can handle.
"Why water?"
Umm.. cause it's clear and not dark and heavy like soda?
"Ah, good reason. Well, water is the best thing to drink." (As I slurp down Gatorade at this very moment...) "So, bladder infection is out. Let's take a listen."
-here comes a little black box with something almost like a microphone.-
J: What's that? -He spoke!! He's calmer!-
It's a Doppler Microphone thingie to hear the baby, right Cris?
"Exactly."
-Several tense moments and then: woosha woosha woosha woosha woosha woosha COUGH woosha woosha-
"Ah! Baby sounds very happy in there, and baby kicked at us."
She kicked? I thought it was a cough... not that... Baby could really cough, I mean, there's no air and.. I'm dumb.
-woosha woosha woosha COUGH (Josh starting to almost grin here.) COUGH woosha woosha woosha-
"No, there's no air in there. A cough would be like gurgle gurgle. That's the baby kicking at us."
Wow. I was starting to get worried when you weren't finding anything.
"Oh, don't be. We're trying to find something an inch or two long, maybe, in all of this..."
Gee, thanks. (Josh grins here. Thanks, Josh!)
"Well, baby sounds happy as can be. I want to check to see if I can see anything that would be bleeding, and to see if the cervix isn't doing anything stupid like trying to open up."
-shuffle shuffle, open the hood-
"Okay, I do see some blood, but this is definately not a fresh bleed. it's a few days old at worst. And your cervix is closed up really tight."
.oO( Oh good. I'm tight. Josh'll like that. )
-unhooked, close the hood-
"Everything looks okay. If you're okay with it, I'd like to see if Melissa can fit you in for a sonogram with me to be sure the sac is okay and not-"
Tearing?
"or detaching."
-we explain some worries we had about money, she gives us a medicaid form filled out, and says not to worry, we explain about my deductibles which despite being very good reset Jan1,2008. I'm due Jan 14, 2008. SUCK ASS!! I've got my HR Office checking if they can do an exception for me or something. Off we go for the sonogram, and into the room with Josh's favorite comfy chair. And there's the picture (which I plan to figure out how to scan ASAP)-
"Everything looks fine. The sac is a little low though, really close to the cervix. I would have to say while everything is fine, no intercourse for a month, just to give the baby a chance to get up and out of the way."
(Insert a pained dejected look from Josh here.)
J: A month?
"At least."
Ok. Thank you.
"Other than that, you both look fine."
We get out of the office, both feeling lighter and much more relieved, and as the engine warms up, Josh sighs.
J: Can I get a surrogate pussy for a month?
Sure, babe. I'll put a wanted ad up on my blog. Tall, blonde, double-D?
J: I don't like blondes.
Okay. Short, mexican, stacked?
J: Oo. -pause- You're evil. -pause, laugh, facepalm- AH! I'm not going to last a month!
Wanted, Surrogate vahjayjay for loving husband. Blondes need not apply. Must be short, mexican, and stacked. Please apply via reply with URL link to vid of self being dirrty. Files must be more than 20secs in length, the longer the better. We do use YouSendIt.com
Extra Bonus Material:
So, last week, Josh had mentioned to one of the ladies that had stopped by Monday morning to help him count the donation plate from Sunday and all the tithes and so forth so that there's accountability (now that Josh isn't a Count, He's a Duke..) that we were looking for a house. We're taking a moment to rest up from some pregnancy crazy, but that we're gearing up for the house hunt very soon. The next day, she brought by her card and a print out of a listing. under $90k, wonderful location, beautiful house, exactly what we wanted. Monday, she brought by a stack of 50 more. All in the area we want, all in the price range we want, $60k-$90k, all when the bed/bath combo we want. And that's just cause he mentioned it, in passing. Thank you for listening. Thank you for answering when it was least expected but needed most. Just... well, thanks.
